See this look on my face? That’s the look of horror. Those eyes are covered in tears and body is trembling with terror, because somewhere deep inside I knew - windigoes really went to town. Andpunswerecoming. Very. Bad. Puns.
Hello, my faithful followers! Missed me? I hope not, since I’m appearing on every comic page every two weeks – how can you miss the main character? Anyways, just wanted to inform you that on 2nd of August at around 8:00 PM EDT my comic book ‘Accidentally’ will accidentally arrive to Baltimore. Accidentally one hundred copies. And it’s going to be Limited Edition (since everyone, who is not me is limited). Don’t cry though, it comes with some extras (like doodles) and even a tabloid-sized print. You should come to the 313 table. You may also come to 310, 617 or, for example, 722 table, but that’s not where fun or my comic gonna be (other tables are not recommended too). And if you are not squealing from joy already, there’s going to be a guy dressed as the D hanging somewhere around the convention. Or maybe it is D dressed as a guy. Just find him, tell him that Discord is the best pony and you’ll get a 50% discount! That means 10$ for comic + print. And don’t even ask me how much it’s going to cost for those, who can’t even find a bunny amongst 6000 people – I can’t math. That guy-or-D-I’m-not-sure will only be present at the BroNYCon until around 11 AM on Sunday, so be quick as a bunny. Discord’s out.
Stop looking at me like that! Yes, I used quick sand, big deal! It’s not my fault that he barged in on my comic! Really, we had a nice piece of art starring a well-known and loved character (that would be me), and then, out of nowhere, there appears an absolutely unrealistic and absurd character! He acts like a little kid, possesses unexplained superpowers, and steals the spotlight from me! And don’t you even start your “it wasn’t a part of the comic back then” tune. When in my presence, each and every creature should behave as though they were taking part in a live documentary of my life! Even if on accident!
And that’s why amongst all races the most hated in my list were always ponies. Disturbing, they never mind their own business, don’t understand the word “no” and, what’s most important, they are complete idiots! I think when they created ponies’ heads all brains went in my head. By the way, that would explain why my own kind has never been of a bright mind. You can’t even imagine what it’s like to be me – so smart and patient!
You know, if I wasn’t interrupted so roughly back then, that griffin might as well got a heavy weight on the end of his tail. Of course now I see that it’s not an answer. He would still continue talking and whining, pinned to the ground. Besides, growing him a pair of horns would be way funnier. But back then I was not that experienced in pranks, and in general was pretty boring and unrestrained. If only I wasn’t interrupted…
See this cyclops? Catches the eye, doesn’t he? Well, guess what - he’s absolutely insignificant. Episodic I would say. Gryphon, on the other paw… Anyway, main hero here is me. Yeah, right there on the background. No, not on the last frame, but on the previous one. In short, where you can’t see me at the moment. Ah, forget it! Just remember around whom the world spins, alright?
Actually, we draconequuses sometimes experience problems with object permanence. As soon as we lose eye contact with something, it simply stops existing for us. Although, it only works with objects which we really dislike. Sadly enough, an explanation for this phenomenon is nonexistent. As well as broccoli. And magic of friendship. I would have remembered if they were real.
It’s just… Who could have thought that Lauren can even come up with the idea of actually bringing me to the Harmony Academy? Some of you would say that it was very unexpected of her and therefore chaotic. Well, let me educate you - that’s not Сhaotic, that’s Dumb! With a capital D. “Unpredictable” does not mean “chaoitc” or we would not need two words for that! And that would be foolish, irrational, ridiculous and absurd.
Amusing fact: some interpret Lauren’s cutiemark as a sign that she writes on the Scroll of History with the Feather of Fate. Sounds like crazy talk to me. Just look at the picture! Here is the said feather, here is the scroll. Any notable changes of Fate yet? Haven’t noticed… Next page!